Dos and Don’ts When Helping a Survivor

DOS

1. Understand that it is not the survivor’s fault and communicate this
2. Communicate your willingness to be supportive
3. Listen non-judgmentally
4. Take the initiative to maintain communication with survivor
5. Be patient
6. Maintain discretion
7. Allow for space and silence
8. Know the options and offer them to the survivor
9. Help the survivor in gaining safety
10. Remember to practice self-care

DON’TS

1. Don’t blame the survivor
2. Don’t make assumptions
3. Don’t give advice or tell them what to do
4. Don’t make threats
5. Don’t question or criticize
6. Don’t gossip
7. Don’t be overprotective and don’t make decisions for the survivor
8. Don’t prevent talking
9. Don’t lose patience
10. Don’t perpetuate rape myths

IMPORTANT NOTE: Remember that what happens after an assault or incident of violence needs to be determined by the survivor—allow them to determine what happens rather than taking away their power and control any further.